Clients will not resort to online translators and later to us to post-edit the resulting rubbish.

Clients will be increasingly more respectful of translators and interpreters’ work.

Companies will give interpreters their reference material and/or presentations and speeches well in advance of the conferences to be interpreted.

Clients will give translators rational lead times for delivery deadlines.

There will be an increase in content to be translated, but since ours is a profession rather than a mass production assembly line operation or a photocopy machine, nobody will ask us to reduce our rates based on volume.

Anyone who has the gall to stand up at a translation seminar and posit that writing quality is no longer of any consequence in the translation business and is far less crucial than speed and bulk volume will be swiftly ushered from the speaker’s podium to the back entrance of the auditorium where he or she will be shoved down a flight of stairs or stuffed into a conveniently located dumpster.

Charlatans will no longer occupy hours and hours of conferences oriented toward translators and interpreters.

Publishing houses worldwide will suddenly realize that who translates a book is as important as who writes the original, will contract worthy talent and will pay accordingly–to the everlasting appreciation of readers everywhere.

New international legislation will be passed (under the jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court) whereby any alleged professional translator caught using Google Translate (or similar online machine translation) to carry out work for sale to their unsuspecting clients will be subject to sentences ranging from 20 years to life.

There will be an impartial entity carrying out unbiased investigations into worldwide practices in the T&I arena.

Finally, a vast majority of translators will buy ergonomic chairs, but they will not be asked to reduce their rates “since you can now translate faster because you are more comfortable.”

Aurora Humarán and Dan Newland
Illustrated by Juan Tavella